These are just things that go on in my mind without any explanation. I don’t think there is a need for exploring them more because it’s mostly conversations I have with myself. I’m not trying to make this post have a kick in it or be funny or try and change people’s way of thinking about it. It’s just me putting down thoughts that go on in my head, as I said.
Sometimes I ask myself: What is it that I know for sure – Today (yes it changes every now and then) my answer to that is that life goes on even if you are not there. Yes people may feel sad that you are not around, but life goes on. What I sit and smile about is the fact that even though life does go on, as with the people that aren’t around me anymore. The moments come along every now and then where I miss them which makes me smile because I know for sure – that even if it’s only 1 person that does that with the memories they have of me, it will be enough. Weird how I just got all deep like that J
I’m getting into hip hop again. There’s just something about hip hop that sometimes calms me. Like the house heads see house as a way of escape *just a thought don’t kill me if I’m wrong*, that’s what hip hop does for me. Reminds me a lot of high school.
I hate; ok maybe hate is a strong word, I dislike the fact that I’ve lost contact with people I used to go to primary/high school with whom I considered friends. I sometimes, yes sometimes not all the time – else I wouldn’t have time to move on with my life, ask myself why is it that I personally don’t keep relationships or even contact with people from that time. But something in me always answers that with: for you to learn different lessons in life you need to have various types of people in your life. Maybe that’s why I don’t have friends at home... hmmm *stops and thinks about it* anyway moving on. Trying to figure that out will take the entire day because I was never friendly like that (as my mother would put it). Or maybe because people thought I was making myself out like I’m better than they are *their words not mine*. Which is not true, it’s because I just don’t interact with you if I don’t have anything to say to you. That’s just me. Hmmm.... I guess that is the answer – that I’m just like that. Shouldn’t be scratching my head trying to figure it out like it’s gonna bring me money into my account. Moving on.
I wanna have more friends than I have now. People I hang out with, people I spend time with that make me laugh, I will try and do the same – no promises. Just to go out on a Saturday morning and have breakfast – just to connect. People I know are too busy for that. Mental note: I need to make more friends
Books J - I read, yes I do. Not as much as I would like to – this is like blogging. It’s something I would love to do more but somehow it just doesn’t happen as much as I would love for it to happen. This explains my “Self Diagnosis” of ADD. My ability of sticking with something worries me. I just lose interest, but the good thing is, the interest is regained again for me to read a chapter or so of a book or blog something like I am doing currently. Oh currently reading Architects of Poverty by Moeletsi Mbeki (just to put it out there). Very nice read. I will finish it – I commit to that. J
Read someone’s post during the weekend where the person asked, what makes you wake up in the morning. The question came to my mind this morning. The answer wasn’t profound, well the minute you start analysing it I guess it would end up being deeper than just saying it right now. My answer to that today is; I wake up every morning because there is life to be lived. I wake up every morning for reasons. It may be work, doing the laundry that morning or cleaning the house or waking up because I want to converse with my loved ones. But the 1 reason remains – I wake up every morning because there is a reason for waking up that morning. Yes that leads to a greater reason for living where .................. *insert as much info as you would like in there*. That is the going deeper about why one wakes up in the morning. Shrugs.
Anyway. That is all that is happening in my head right now at this very moment. Will post more as time goes. I need to go to church. Oh the thought just came to my head. Since I’m writing about things that run around in my head that aren’t so important for me to talk about. Well I think!.
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